“Chaos does not mean total disorder. Chaos means a multiplicity of possibilities. Chaos is from the ancient Greek words that means a thing that is birthed from the void. And it was about that which is possible, not about disorder.”

Jok Church

One of the struggles of living in our modern world today is a plethora of confusion.  The pace of change has created a mindset that views everyday life as a shambolic whirlpool. 

We are convinced that chaos reigns, and for many this is overwhelming.  Could there be, like most things, an upside to these chaotic circumstances we live in?  Like the Greek definition, perhaps we are confused because we are standing on the cusp of a cliff, which is hanging over the void of unknown possibilities.

“There is no answer. That's what Buddhism says. The Void, oblivion, no answer. To be in that state is an enlightened state.” - Harry Dean Stanton

The Void

Like all the possibilities of an unknown future, we are intimidated by uncertainty.  We like to know.  However, growth has always been about going into the unknown.  

“We must dare to think 'unthinkable' thoughts. We must learn to explore all the options and possibilities that confront us in a complex and rapidly changing world.” - J. William Fulbright

The Possibilities

To arrive at a less chaotic future, we will have to travel through the chaos.  This is not a comfortable trip.  However, since when does progress evolve out of comfort?  Discomfort is the pathway to growth (1).           
The weightlifter must lift enough weight in order to cause muscle tissue to become damaged so that it may heal and become stronger. The runner piles on the miles enduring soreness the next day or two for the same reasons. Stress and discomfort enable gains in speed, strength, and endurance.

Mental and emotional gains are similar in terms of discomfort promoting growth. Mental and emotional challenges stretch one’s potential to overcome the obstacles of life. Although difficult, our achievements from our struggles will build self-confidence and self-efficacy (1).

Comfort is probably not even really appreciated absent the journey into discomfort for comparison.  Chaos is a discomfort but it is the start of growth not the end-point.  Experiencing the growth pains of our trip through chaos will leave us with new powers of learning and resilience.

Experiential Acceptance

The process of not simply noticing but also embracing one’s experience without judgment or defence is known as experiential (or psychological) acceptance. This concept is essentially the antithesis of experiential avoidance.

“Psychological acceptance typically goes hand-in-hand with cognitive distancing.  In fact, some theorists argue that the process of distancing oneself from one’s distressing experience automatically leads to acceptance of that experience (Brown & Ryan, 2003).”

In experiential acceptance, there is no attempt to avoid one’s unwanted emotions. Instead, there is an acceptance of these experiences, in the service of making positive behaviour changes consistent with one’s goals and well-being.

The definitional goal of acceptance as an emotion regulation strategy is not to change the experienced emotions, but to receive them without control attempts (Hayes, 2004; Kohl et al., 2012). Experiential avoidance seeks to control these unwanted experiences by displacing them with emotional regulation strategies that are counterproductive. They provide temporary relief at the expense of potential growth. They are the proverbial Band-Aid being applied externally in an attempt to manage an internal wound.

Implications

What we construct, we can deconstruct and in this case the converse is also true.  What we have deconstructed can be reconstructed.

References

1-Wilson, B. (2023).  Discomfort: A Pathway to Growth.  Psychology Today, July 15, 2023.

2-Brown, K. & Ryan, R. (2003). The Benefits of Being Present: Mindfulness and Its Role in Psychological Well-Being. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(4): 822-48.

3-Hayes S. C. (2004). Acceptance and commitment therapy, relational frame theory, and the third wave of behavioral and cognitive therapies. Behav. Ther. 35, 639–665.

4-Kohl A., Rief W., Glombiewski J. A. (2012). How effective are acceptance strategies? A meta-analytic  review of experimental results. J. Behav. Ther. Exp. Psychiatry 43, 988–1001.