The Ideology of Perfectionism
“Perfectionism is not a quest for the best. It is a pursuit of the worst in ourselves, the part that tells us that nothing we do will ever be good enough - that we should try again.” – Julia Cameron
High standards have value but what about being a perfectionist? What are some of the potential outcomes of having an ideology of perfectionism?
Is perfection even possible or, like most absolutes, is it a myth? What if perfectionism is really just a restrictive, fear-based mindset rather than a pursuit of excellence?
We know that an ideology is a structured set of beliefs, values, and ideas that shapes how individuals or groups perceive, interpret, and act. We also know that perfectionism is a personality trait characterized by setting excessively high, often unrealistic standards, accompanied by intense self-criticism, fear of failure, and judging self-worth based on performance.
Perfectionists perceive anything short of perfection as either unfinished or a failure. Could this idea explain some of the patterns we see in OCD?
"I think I have minor obsessive compulsive disorder. Everything has to be tidy and just right." – Bobby Davro
“Just Right” OCD
"Just Right" OCD, is a subtype of perfectionism where the need for flawlessness is driven by anxiety and a fear of negative consequences, rather than a desire for excellence. Technically, OCD is not just about perfectionism. However, the need for flawlessness in particular drives people with OCD to repeat behaviours that appear to be already completed, which is a form of perfectionism.
Locking and relocking doors several times just to make sure they are locked is based on a fear of negative consequences. Going back to where you started and doing something over and over again is driven by anxiety and self-doubt.
“Success is often achieved by those who don't know that failure is inevitable.”
Coco Chanel
Perfectionism and Fear of Failure
Procrastination is related to a fear of failure. When we put off doing something there is either some self-doubt about the quality of our performance or the potential judgement of that performance.
Perfectionism only makes this process more complex. Expectations that are unrealistic can shut down performances at the beginning or the end of the performance. We may not start something due to self-doubts about our ability to meet the expectations of ourself or the expectations of others. Being perfect sometimes requires a higher level of assurance that success is immanent. Without that guarantee the perfectionist is stuck in the inaction.
Perfectionism and Social Media
In today’s world of social media, profiling one’s identity has become part of the perfectionistic vortex. Selfies are taken over and over to eliminate any photos that are not complimentary.
Looking at the statistics of selfie taking might provide a clearer picture of some of the primary issues.
18-to-24-year-olds reported that one in three photos they take is a selfie, while some confessed to taking more than 8 selfies daily.
1-4 selfies/day: 55.7% of participants.
5-8 selfies/day: 35.3% of participants.
8+ selfies/day: 9% of participants.
In regards to posting those selfies online:
0 posted selfies/day: 34% of participants.
1-3 posted selfies/day: 40.5% of participants.
3+ posted selfies/day: 25.5% of participants.
50%+ of millennials published a selfie.
Millennials, usually between 18 and 34, have been particularly drawn to selfies. More than half of young adults have posted a selfie to a social media website, compared to 24 percent of Generation Xers and 9 percent of Baby Boomers, the Pew Research Centre discovered last March.
People spend 54 hours a year taking selfies.
Respondents to the Luster Survey said they took an average of nine selfies a week and put the average amount of time needed at seven minutes. According to the study, that adds to about 54 hours a year of taking selfies, including responses from 1,000 young adults (1).
The realization that so many people reported dissatisfaction with their selfies explains the perceived need to edit these photos. The extraordinary number of selfies being taken, and potentially being edited and posted, illustrates the obvious obsessional and possibly addictive potential that selfies represent.
“Human identity is the most fragile thing that we have, and it's often only found in moments of truth.” – Alan Rudolph
Perfectionism and Identity
The curated self is a product of the technological revolution. The curated self is the selection, organization, and presentation of online content about yourself. Online has become a canvas to recreate who we are. We can create our perceived perfect image.
Facebook, Tik Tok, Instagram—take your pick and start painting your dream profile. Your wish list of personal characteristics to woo others into your life on social media is only limited by a lack of imagination. You are the architect, the designer, and the artist of your curated identity.
When our identity is curated, we are seeking perfection. We are not happy to share our authentic profile when we can spruce it up to something more impressive, no matter how inauthentic.
Being authentic is the antithesis of the virtual self. No curation is needed. You are who you are with no need to cover up your identity. You will nurture your identity by being true to yourself without the need to be better for others.
Perfection in Others
How does a perfectionistic personality handle relationships? When you perceive the world as having to be perfect how does this affect the way you see others? Do they need to be more perfect than they are, or even could be?
Potentially, it appears that being a perfectionist is not only about the self. The way we view others would also be impacted due to our high expectations. How could we accept those who are less than we expect of ourselves?
This perfectionistic attitude toward others would significantly affect our friendships and our relationships with family or workmates. High standards create lower tolerance levels and perfectionists would potentially have a lower tolerance not only for self but also for others. One’s perfectionism can lead to being isolated and losing relationships.
Reference
1-Matic Broz (2024). Selfie statistics, demographics, & fun facts ([year]), Photutorial, May 31, 2024.
Counselling with a client-centred focus
Our experienced psychologists work on an individual need’s basis, creating a safe, relaxed and welcoming space, where you can feel free to be yourself. To book your in-person session, please reach out to our friendly team today.
Contact Us
