Masking Your Identity
“The things we see are only masks for the things we can’t see.”- Anthony Doerr
Masks are made for protection, literally and figuratively. We wear a mask to protect against physical disease but we also wear masks to protect our identity. We may be aware of the masks we wear to protect our identity or we may be totally oblivious.
Implicit bias is one example of unconscious bias. This type of bias connects automatically beyond our awareness. Our view of others and our view of self may be distorted by the masks we wear to see things through this biased lens.
Discrimination is the most obvious example of the mask that denies the value of diversity. Wearing the mask of superiority refutes the possibility of being ‘less than’.
This mask is useful in blocking out the idea that we are all made of the same clay. The DNA we all share is over 99% the same but our mask of superiority and implicit bias protects us against this threatening reality.
A starting point to understanding implicit bias is the concept of intolerance. When we are intolerant, we are demonstrating our narrow band of acceptance toward another’s ideas, actions, or being.
This narrow band of acceptance operates at the expense of gathering more information. We are making judgements with insufficient knowledge. Our lack of awareness and unconscious bias is reinforced through repetition. Likeminded people can unite to manifest this implicit bias into stereotypes that become self-fulfilling.
Imposter Syndrome
Sometimes we wear a mask to protect ourselves due to the fear that others will discover we are a fraud. We feel that we are not who we should or could be. We are feeling ‘less than’ and the mask is our protection.
The paradox here is that we become what we believe others will accept rather than who we really are. We become an imposter to ourselves not just others. What happens to our identity under the veil of being the imposter?
Tendencies to exaggerate or self-embellish may become habitual behaviours. This overcompensation will only enhance feeling more like an imposter. These exaggerated self-serving behaviours may begin to emulate certain narcissistic qualities, which may alienate you from others even more.
“Social media is making us more anti-social.” - Tom Green
Social Media
Possibly the best example of wearing a mask to enhance your identity is displayed on a regular basis on social media. The profiles that are posted online are embellished and fabricated to the max to attract others online who are doing the same. The masks that are being presented online are part of the commercialisation of modern-day identity.
Advertising has not only convinced us to buy, but when it comes to our online profiles how to sell ourselves. We are selling an image that is wearing a mask.
People meet and ask questions like: Are you the same person that I met online? Recognition based on what you have read and discussed online is at times problematic. It seems the imposter is everywhere online.
Addiction
Addiction can also be a mask. Usually, addiction is an emotional mask. The alcoholic is masking their sadness, self-anger, and frustration by swallowing their emotions.
This is a mask in that the drinking is a physical manifestation of an emotional issue. The drinking may also be a mask to hide from one’s social anxiety. Alcohol disinhibits the drinker and provides a mask of confidence, which is totally false.
Womanising is also a mask for men who lack the real confidence to be in a committed relationship. A gambling addiction can be a mask that is sending a purported message of affluence, which may be concealing real feelings of desperation.
“There's no weakness as great as false strength.” - Stefan Molyneux
The Pseudo Self
Technology has created an environment where curating the self is not just tempting but rather expected. Trust of online communication is sparse. Suspicion rules the airways. The impending AI onslaught will only make it easier to wear whatever mask you feel like modelling.
As the virtual self takes over, the real self is displaced. What could be the meta- motive behind this fascination with the virtual self? Could it be that there is a risk in being our real self? Are we afraid of our real self being rejected? Do we need the fantasy to protect us from other people knowing who we really are? The curated self, my creation of who I am, insulates me from my insecurities. Our emotional vulnerabilities have a self-constructed shield.
One possible insight into the curated self to remember is that by hiding your vulnerabilities, you might actually be exposing them. After all, every identity issue I work hard to protect and hide telegraphs to others what I am fearful to show. My mask will not protect me.
Being Authentic
What would being authentic look like? To begin with, there would be no need for the mask. Being authentic is the antithesis of the virtual self. No curation is needed. You are who you are with no need to cover up your identity. You will nurture your identity by being true to yourself without the need to be better for others.
Each situation is an opportunity for the authentic self to build self-esteem and confidence. Vulnerability is accepted as a potential for new experiences and learning. The mask of the curated self is not charmed by or pursued by the authentic self. Wearing the mask takes away our ability to see and be seen for what is real. The mask is an image of reality that may fool others but fails to fool the authentic self.
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