A recipe is a formula or procedure.   This formula includes a list of ingredients for attaining an end product.  Is it possible that humans are comprised of a number of emotional recipes that equate to the separate components of our emotionality? 

The Iconic song MacArthur Park illustrates how Jimmy Webb has lost his loving relationship, by leaving it too long, and realizes he will never have that recipe again.  So, what are the ingredients to a recipe for love?

What is Love?

Feelings of love come from a multitude of ingredients.  You will require a cup of kindness.  You might consider a pinch of passion.  A dollop of tolerance would help.  And, a spoon full of acceptance goes a long way in the arena of love.

Without these ingredients, many less attractive emotional recipes may rise to the surface.  Emotions like anger, sadness, fear, and disgust are waiting in the recesses of the minds of those who are not receiving the right ingredients.  Many a loving relationship has suffered the fate of Jimmy Webb’s cake.

What About Anger?      

Anger is a complex recipe of emotions.  Consider the last time you were infuriated.  Did you become more aggressive?  Were you resentful?  Did you distance yourself from the person triggering your anger and become withdrawn?

When you are provoked what do you do with those feelings?  Anger may even have a few payoffs.  That is, maybe my anger will give me the distance I want in the relationship.  Perhaps my anger hurts back because I am feeling hurt.  I am starting to wonder how insecure I must be feeling to use anger as a weapon. 

A healthier channelling of my anger might include a different set of ingredients.  I could learn from our differences with a half-cup of respect.  I might even look for common ground and a healthy debate with a pinch of inspiration.  My spoonful of interest might trigger a reciprocal acquiescence.

“With an eye made quiet by the power of harmony, and the deep power of joy, we see into the life of things.” – William Wordsworth

Being Joyful

What are the ingredients to my joy?  Do I possess 10 grams of fulfilment?  Am I feeling ecstatic?  Do I have an ounce of hope?  My joy will be a composite of these positive ingredients that support my confidence and optimism.

Physical joy can come from any of our five senses. We may find joy in listening to music, eating a fine meal, getting a massage, the aroma of a great perfume, or watching a movie. The physical feeling of air moving through your hair as you fly around the rink ice skating or down the steepest part of the roller coaster can bring us physical joy as well. Our sensations are lifted and magnified through our joyful experiences.

Being Fearful

The most salient ingredient to being fearful is reinforcement.  When we reinforce our fear, it only gets stronger.  Phobias are the best example of this concept in action.  As we continually reinforce our fear of spiders or snakes or cakes, we increase the power of our fear.

A healthy set of ingredients to combat our fear might include courage, confidence, and acceptance.  Through repetitive exposure to our fear, without reinforcing the fearful reactions, we will conquer our fear.

“For all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these, 'It might have been'.” – John Greenleaf Whittier

Jimmy’s Sadness 

Leaving the cake out in the rain is obviously a metaphor for some missing ingredients in Jimmy’s relationship.  The subsequent sadness is the emotional payback for having the wrong recipe.  Sadness has some very uncomfortable ingredients.  Feeling abandoned, lonely, empty, depressed and powerless are ingredients that need to be used sparingly if at all.  But the fact remains, that getting the right recipe will always require the right ingredients, especially when in comes to emotions.