“The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction not a destination.” – Carl Rogers

When we focus on the process rather than the final result good things happen. We improve concentration by staying in the moment.  We open the way to learning and creating while doing, which increases satisfaction and provides us with immediate feedback.

A focus on outcomes is less rewarding and less predictable.  We are not in control of the outcome.  External variables can displace whatever effort we supply.  Being outcome oriented is all about the future not the present.  Along the journey toward our future, unaccounted for extraneous variables outside of our control may impede, restrict, or even eliminate our intended outcome.  Ironically, our new and revised outcome will become just a new direction.

Choosing a Direction

Just by saying the word choosing we are implying there is a choice.  Directions are about choice not mandates.  By choosing my direction in life I am taking control.  When thinking about outcomes, I realise they may not be in my control.  So, how do I make these choices on my direction?

My direction will be determined on how I vision the pathway to my goal.  Remember we are talking the pathway to my goal not the destination.  When looking at becoming a psychologist, my pathway might include my formal training but also my experiential learning regarding myself and others.  I might see my pathway as doing my own therapy and finding out what it is like to be a client.  Along the way, I may come to understand my own identity more clearly, which will allow me to separate my identity from intruding on my future client’s identity.

When choosing my direction, the most salient ingredient to the recipe may be my ability to not focus on the outcome.  Worry about the future will only increase my stress levels and take me away from the desired focus of my pathway.

I think health is the outcome of eating well. – Alice Waters

Not Choosing Outcomes

Not focusing on outcomes is hard work.  The very reason we have identified our pathway or direction is that we have an outcome in mind.  However, by not choosing to focus on my outcome my focus will be more apropos. 

My small steps toward success are like the hurdles on the track.  Each hurdle helps me to get closer to my goal but I still need to stay focused on each hurdle to finish the race.

As I continue to focus on each part of my pathway, I will be moving toward my destination without the distraction of a result.  Result mindedness will only interfere with my moment-to-moment concentration. 

An example of this stepwise progression approach is instruction manuals.  To end up with a finished product that I am building, I need to follow each step of the manual in sequence. 

Any tendency to want to skip ahead or take short cuts may impede or destroy my ability to complete the build.  Builders know this fact well.  Each part of a build must be synchronised with the next part to stay in line with the ultimate finished product.

Parenting is another obvious example of how we cannot get stuck on outcomes.  Children grow in a natural progression that needs to be accommodated by their parents. 

Parents need to understand that children learn and grow through finding their own directions, along with acceptance and non-judgement, and without constant input on what parents view as right for themselves.  The directional choices children make are the learning tools of their future adulthood.  Parental guidance that allows children to experience failure as well as success through discovery of their own directions will only enhance this process of maturation.

“Life is a process. We are a process. The universe is a process.”

Anne Wilson Schaef

Directions: A Lifestyle Decision

How could choosing directions and process in life rather than outcomes help us?  In modern living the pressure is on results.  However, results are not achieved at the outset.  No, they are achieved through perseverance and over time.  This implies that a pathway rather than an outcome needs to be our focus. 

How many times do we self-sabotage our efforts by trying to rush at getting a result?  Our truncated lifestyle pushes us to hurry up and get that desired outcome.  So, we skip steps along the way.  This may satisfy the quantity of completed tasks but at the expense of the quality.   Is this what we want?

By choosing directions in our life rather than outcomes we can assure more quality to our efforts.  We want the buildings we build to last longer.  We want our efforts to be genuine and not a token.  The satisfaction levels we aspire to will be heightened by our dedication and commitment to the process.  Ironically, through choosing our direction we know that successful outcomes will follow anyway.

 The Value of Choice

“Between stimulus and response, there is a space where we choose our response.”- Stephen Covey

Making decisions about our direction is not an easy task but it is extremely viable to our future.  We know that neutral attitudes do not promote our decision-making capacity. Instead, the neutral attitude is like running in place, there is no forward movement, like a pond. We actually need both positive and negative attitudes in our lives in order to distinguish direction. Failure and success are expected and realized through this competition of ideas. However, without these comparative ideologies we could become more and more neutral and eventually immobile ⁽¹⁾.  Be a river, not a pond.

^Reference

^{1-Wilson, B. (2022).  Are You a River or a Pond?  Articlebiz, August 8.}