Closed-Mindedness
“The only place opportunity cannot be found is in a closed-minded person.”
Bo Bennett
Closed-minded thinking, sometimes called black and white thinking is a cognitive distortion. This type of thinking considers only the extreme view. Situations or people are either good or bad. There is no middle ground for this type of thinking. Everything is an absolute. You are an absolute success or an absolute failure. This thinking is especially harmful when directed not only outward but inward toward the self.
“When we don't have information, we go to the simplest outlook, to black and white. But then we have to lie to ourselves. Black is never as black as you're painting it and white is never as white.” - Patricia Sun
Mental Health Impacts
From a mental health perspective, closed-mindedness has numerous negative ramifications. Closed-mindedness correlates with unrealistic expectations. These expectations, which are at times potentially impossible, set one up to be disappointed. Perfectionism is an absolute and unachievable.
This disappointment may lead to symptoms of depression and anxiety and even self-harming. The expectation of perfectionism or 100% success that is not achieved damages one’s self-esteem and confidence. A rigid judgement of others often transitions to judgement of the self. This ultimately affects one’s feelings of self-worth.
Relationship Impact
Rigidity in a relationship leads to several issues. Communication is strained when either partner fails to recognise the other’s viewpoint. Miscommunication becomes the norm when any form of compromise is unavailable.
This communication style becomes increasingly defensive over time and with little regard for a middle ground resolution. Lack of compromise evolves into feelings of being controlled. The closed-minded thinker operates under the delusion of certainty that they are right and their partner is wrong, absolutism again. This dichotomous or polarized thinking permeates closed-mindedness.
“I spent a lot of years trying to outrun or outsmart vulnerability by making things certain and definite, black and white, good and bad. My inability to lean into the discomfort of vulnerability limited the fullness of those important experiences that are wrought with uncertainty: Love, belonging, trust, joy, and creativity to name a few.” - Brene Brown
The Closed Mind
The assembling of a closed mind may lead to bias, bigotry, misogyny, and xenophobia among other distortions of thinking. These concepts are unhealthy to self and others because they are rigid judgements derived out of ignorance.
Many of these generalised views are an attempt to discredit others and elevate the self. They evolve out of closed-minded beliefs and a lack of awareness. They do not promote understanding or empathy but rather the opposite. They also nullify learning and growth due to an inability to be open-minded.
Articulating bias and prejudgements of others demonstrates just the opposite, which is in reality a limited cognitive ability to be open to diversity. This mindset will also limit one’s capacity to learn and grow. We need diversity in our ideas, cultures, experience, and opinions to develop and grow. Debate is an educational experience not a threatening one. However, the closed-minded will usually feel threatened more readily by anything outside of their comfort zone.
“If I'm in a good place, then I'm really open-minded to what's being presented, but if I'm in a bad place, I'm much more closed-minded.” - Beth Hart
Overcoming Closed-Mindedness
How does one change these rigid thought and behaviour patterns? Challenge your thoughts when they are too extreme. There may be an alternative view that also has some merit. This is an opportunity to learn from others.
Black and white thinking negates the middle-ground and the middle-ground is where most concepts actually live. Avoid the words ‘always’, and ‘never’, and start considering the words ‘sometimes’ and ‘maybe’. This approach will at least allow the discussion to continue. When discussions are extreme, they often end in a hurry. Why would you continue a discussion with an immovable object?
Sometimes you and the other person are both right. And, sometimes you are both wrong. Why not try to just ‘get it right’? No one has to be wrong. Try to eliminate this rigid viewpoint that is immune to debate. Debate is an excellent teacher.
Identify Specifics
Where do you notice that you are most closed-minded? Are there specific people or places where you struggle to be open-minded? Do they occur more often at home, with a partner, or with your children?
Do they happen more often at work, with your boss, with colleagues, or your clients? Where are you most challenged to be more open-minded?
What are you willing to change about your closed-mindedness? Are you willing to listen more and with an open-mind? Are you trying to be less judgemental? Do you want to focus on being less extreme or absolute in your views?
Try to be more curious about how your views are different from others. Maybe an alternative view will help you build more depth in your thinking. You might even consider that your view is not totally correct and needs some form of revision to be more accurate. Ask more questions to clarify the views you are struggling to agree upon with others.
Try to find something you can agree on to continue the discussion to a deeper level. Encourage others to express their views even if you don’t happen to agree with them.
Expand the conversations you have to increase your understanding and continue to grow. Remember, a closed-mind limits your opportunity for growth.
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